ihmn: (thank you for offering yourself)
2017-01-27 01:12 am

(no subject)

Just letting the world remember that now, I'm biting and chewing my wiring...
Kinda have a feeling it's not just wasteful but also not exactly safe; well, I'll finally understand the little monsters (- which is my way of calling mice).
ihmn: (a bit of a carricature but; enter king o)
2017-01-27 01:04 am

(no subject)

I'm too tired to deal with the damn catastrophe so I'm abandoning my ship till tomorrow.

But writing about it. Oh dear, oh dear...
ihmn: (fragile)
2017-01-26 11:26 pm


When Dreamwidth somehow manages to change half my settings back to default while I'm busy with other things (aka after the limit to mamma remembering it), how do I not get angry?
A careful blend of selection of Gazette, nu metal, japanese post-punk and co. ... Serve loudly, equalised to taste!

But... Just when I got over the fucked rap. This. One more time, and I might never return.
I'd have to stop being Ihmn..! And it's so convenient (I have many names).
I prescribe myself a bit of drink and symbolic gore action film and strictly logical problem-solving too... After all, emotions don't go alone.
ihmn: (Default)
2017-01-26 11:07 pm

(no subject)

The bad thing about streaming sites is that you can't throw a tape/disc on someone's head when they make songs start before songs end.
I mean it quite literally; bad attempts at beat-matching make me want to physically attack people
and the way kids share nowadays just doesn't provide the satisfaction. 
- Not that someone tried to force me to listen to something so annoying before it all moved "up there".
Wooah! It sounds like I hate internet. When I grew up on it.
I mean, look, the first 8 years of my life I only talked to my mother, books, computers, birds and the devil. (...The last one's mother's fault though, she brainwashed me so much even I started believing there's such thing as God and "The" Devil - despite all the books and internet. I guess she just didn't manage to make me talk to the right imaginary guy!! Shouldn't have made me read the Bible, I say. Any half sane person would know God is a whacko to keep away from and way more human then some folk like to present Him as...)

I mean, I do kind of hate the way it became, but it's not like it's suddenly not my home.
Half my life.
ihmn: (a bit of a carricature but; enter king o)
2016-09-21 03:44 pm

ehm (- not; its parte instead)

on behalf of the long and difficult, fairly important text, I have to ask
why the hell do you not do normal "save draft" Dreamwidth?!

I'm going far far away now

actually, I'm kinda used to miraculously losing anything I write that makes sense . . .
but I still need to be crazy a little bit
ihmn: (there's got to be life somewhere inside)
2016-09-20 05:18 pm

I've decided to look sweet in this dress


I'll probably wear it to Winter Meet after a long time
...originally I thought I'd save for kujouhan uniform to add to the cash I'll get from the family; I thought I'd get some fashion mooks now (I'm really liking this year since spring) and then save meticulously, but I'm lowering the bar .. I'm lazy, that's one thing, and I'm going to start being cute and admired again I think, is the other
it might even allow me to start saving for Yutaka vinyl 9pc set earlier ("happy! happy!")
since it turns out it's impossible for me to go to school, I don't have to pay my tution
who needs high school again?
I may be a machine oriented workaholic, but watch me learn to sew and cook and marry! look, it's not like I can fight, go to bars or lie anymore anyway, it's high time I utilised my annoying femaleness if nothing else - after all, even if I've forgotten it, I did spend years practicing acting! ha ha

ihmn: (respect)
2016-09-02 02:33 pm

What else's new? ..sarcasm alert

The awkwardly weird thing is that I need just the right mindset to not to be preoccupied with something as stupid as future impending death. If everything is sweet, I quickly drift to "aah, and it can't last forever", if trouble surrounds me like bully punks, it's just "death, death, okay, I'm bored...", if I'm either extremely overexcited in the present (which is rare and definitely not close to anything ideal) or sort of alright and sort of bummed, it's 'safe', that is.
It makes me feel ridiculous, odd and human. Human, for fuck's sake. Aw, and I don't like using swear-words..!


ihmn: (told ya' so)
2016-09-02 08:53 am

(no subject)

Somewhere deep down, I know that "ii ne" and "yoroshiku" are supposed to be very positive expressions, but what can I say? I've seen my stuff.
Actually, I rewired most frivolity, openness, appreciation or uncertainty/vagueness in my mind as "scary". You know, all the stories out there...
It's just somehow evil. Don't ask anyone how, but it's.
Playful with loads of endearments, yet calm, always above you, always satisfied - and if not, either unruffled or excited. You could continue on, but that's what i call a proper villain. Don't you??
Not that you can't be perfectly neutral with this. ...

Okay, that was just a thought.
It happens to me sometimes.
I think. Too much. Write too much. Lose all my notes. Don't think. Do silly things. Think a bit too much. Nice cycle, really.

Oh, by the way, I don't like villains.
(And you totally believe me, okay?)

ihmn: (as you might have noticed I really like;)
2016-09-02 07:46 am

(no subject)

The importance of writing a x lies in the fact that otherwise I would give up on it with a stupid mellow smile or quickly change attentions to different thing I would be, maybe, capable of making profession, different geekery, simply a new plan.
My life, I'm pretty sure, always consisted of plans, the problem can occur when you realise maybe you have those new plans way too often and that means nothing ever sufficiently progresses.
I wouldn't exactly call it a resolve. It's just a whim that I should write "oh, I'll be a bartender". But still, now that I¨m writing about it, can I do anything else?
At least I've written something.
Messed up something (stirred, not broke).

ihmn: (fragile)
2016-09-02 06:55 am

I've no idea what this is

There must be something really strange about the night, because if I am awake at early morning, regardless of whether I just woke or missed the timing to go to sleep, I am charged with energy, the kind that makes you do pranks or not sleep.
On the contrary, into the night, it is so much easier for me to feel dry, desperate, cut off and that is regardless of my level of tiredness as well. The breathing that is hard normally gets harder and ALL OF THAT in spite of the fact that I love night, dislike light, noise, people and used to be called Nightfairy simply because I completely exchanged the meaning of day and night.
That's why I dare jump with this assumption; claim my first line.