Sep. 2nd, 2016

ihmn: (fragile)
There must be something really strange about the night, because if I am awake at early morning, regardless of whether I just woke or missed the timing to go to sleep, I am charged with energy, the kind that makes you do pranks or not sleep.
On the contrary, into the night, it is so much easier for me to feel dry, desperate, cut off and that is regardless of my level of tiredness as well. The breathing that is hard normally gets harder and ALL OF THAT in spite of the fact that I love night, dislike light, noise, people and used to be called Nightfairy simply because I completely exchanged the meaning of day and night.
That's why I dare jump with this assumption; claim my first line.

Sep. 2nd, 2016 07:46 am
ihmn: (as you might have noticed I really like;)
The importance of writing a x lies in the fact that otherwise I would give up on it with a stupid mellow smile or quickly change attentions to different thing I would be, maybe, capable of making profession, different geekery, simply a new plan.
My life, I'm pretty sure, always consisted of plans, the problem can occur when you realise maybe you have those new plans way too often and that means nothing ever sufficiently progresses.
I wouldn't exactly call it a resolve. It's just a whim that I should write "oh, I'll be a bartender". But still, now that I¨m writing about it, can I do anything else?
At least I've written something.
Messed up something (stirred, not broke).

Sep. 2nd, 2016 08:53 am
ihmn: (told ya' so)
Somewhere deep down, I know that "ii ne" and "yoroshiku" are supposed to be very positive expressions, but what can I say? I've seen my stuff.
Actually, I rewired most frivolity, openness, appreciation or uncertainty/vagueness in my mind as "scary". You know, all the stories out there...
It's just somehow evil. Don't ask anyone how, but it's.
Playful with loads of endearments, yet calm, always above you, always satisfied - and if not, either unruffled or excited. You could continue on, but that's what i call a proper villain. Don't you??
Not that you can't be perfectly neutral with this. ...

Okay, that was just a thought.
It happens to me sometimes.
I think. Too much. Write too much. Lose all my notes. Don't think. Do silly things. Think a bit too much. Nice cycle, really.

Oh, by the way, I don't like villains.
(And you totally believe me, okay?)

ihmn: (respect)
The awkwardly weird thing is that I need just the right mindset to not to be preoccupied with something as stupid as future impending death. If everything is sweet, I quickly drift to "aah, and it can't last forever", if trouble surrounds me like bully punks, it's just "death, death, okay, I'm bored...", if I'm either extremely overexcited in the present (which is rare and definitely not close to anything ideal) or sort of alright and sort of bummed, it's 'safe', that is.
It makes me feel ridiculous, odd and human. Human, for fuck's sake. Aw, and I don't like using swear-words..!



ihmn: (Default)

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